d e a r y o u
by seta souji
Summary: sickeningly sweet & fluffy — [Kizami/Kurosaki] Kizami finds letters from his best friend scattered around the grounds of the god-forsaken Heavenly Host Elementary throughout his periods of sane and insanity.


It was a cruel twist of fate how they only reunited when the other has lost their sanity and attempted to kill him then kicked him down a pit to let him rot. With his ribs cracked and bleeding internally, Kurosaki didn't focus on staying alive - he wondered if his best friend was even sane to begin with. His mind went back to the past when everything was alright, where he and Kizami smile and laugh together without a care in the world. When they did the Sachiko Ever After charm with their classmates, he and Kizami were separated for the longest time and he figured he would try to contact his best friend in between closed spaces.

…Did his messages reach Kizami at all?

_Kizami,_

_Are you here in this school too? A ghost told me you might be in a different closed space whatever that is. I don't entirely understand! You know I'm slow with this kind of stuff! …I'm alone…no one is here with me and its scary - with dead corpse as my only company._

_Hey, I hope you're having better luck than me and that you aren't alone. Even if Shimada is your only company - hey don't scowl!_

_- Kurosaki_

Kizami found this letter after someone in the group got his leg chop off. He is somewhat glad that Kurosaki isn't here for he would panic like a butchered cow if he were to see Katayama with one leg. He also felt relief from the knowledge that Kurosaki is okay.

And Kurosaki was right; he did frown when he read the partial bit about Shimada. Kurosaki must have a sixth sense because he really is with the redhead but along with the two gamer nerds. The girl responsible for bringing them to the school, Emi and her friend Tohko joined in after a while.

_Hey Kizami!_

_I found Fukuroi and Mitsuki together! It's relieving to be with the living again. Although I'm thankful for finding them, I wish I were with you too. Hell, I don't even know if these messages will reach you but I'll keep trying!_

_xoxox, Kurosaki_

_P.S: Do you know what 'xoxox' means? Mitsuki insisted in putting it in the message._

Kurosaki seems more enthusiastic, Kizami mused. The male felt the urge to face palm when his eyes scanned on the x's and o's question. If Yamamoto thought that was a clever way to embarrass Kurosaki, she should be reminded of his naivety.

"Hugs and Kisses…" He whispers in a barely audible tone.

"What was that Yuuya?"

"Nothing Kirisaki."

_Kizami…_

_I've gotten separated from Fukuroi and Mitsuki…! A freaking ghost chased me all over the first floor… I was cornered but somehow outwitted the ghost with a fake cut I learned on the baseball team; I never knew that something so simple could save my life. I've almost had it! I want to see you Kizami! I want to know you're safe!_

There were dried tear stains on the slightly crumpled paper. An amused smile stretches across Kizami's face. Aw, such a sweet message. Kizami almost felt touched. Key word: Almost.

The previous party of people are gone, either dead or ran away from him from the fear of having him kill them by his hands. Heh, don't they understand? They should accept death openly… Either being killed by him or by this school, it doesn't matter - either way, you're dead. Kizami had to admit though; he would like to end his best friend's life personally. To have the boy squirm and scream against him. The thought almost set his excitement on fire.

With these thoughts, if you can read between the lines, he wishes for Kurosaki to be safe too, so Kizami can turn the boy's life upside down in the most breathtaking way. Literally.

_Hey,_

_I'm not dead just yet Kizami. I left letters in the other wing of the school and it makes me wonder if you've gotten them or if you've been in this wing the whole time. Being alone like this in such a lifeless place with nothing to do but fear death makes you think of life - your own life and the people who really matter to you. My thoughts always go back to you whenever I thought of Mitsuki or my parents. Always you. Your face engraved inside my mind eases me and became my will to live because of the possibility of seeing you again - not just in my mind. I want to feel, to touch, to see you with my own two eyes in front of me._

_Do you feel the same way?_

_- Kurosaki_

What the heck? Since when has Kurosaki gotten so deep? The goofy idiot who deluded himself into thinking that he is his best friend is practically confessing that he loves him. Or maybe Kizami is so egotistical in believing it to be the case. It was almost tempting to rip the letter apart into tiny pieces - to rip away and block Kurosaki's feelings he poured into the letter. Instead Kizami folds the paper small enough to fit inside his pocket. Hm, maybe once he meets up with Kurosaki he'll tear it apart in front of the boy's face.

Kizami can count on the reaction would be priceless.

The tall teen walked to a different room and felt the impact of something small bumping into him, a little girl…and she's calling him his big brother?

All thoughts regarding Kurosaki were quickly rid of from Kizami's mind, for now that is.

* * *

Why? Why did he kiss Kurosaki only moments after they found each other? Why is Kurosaki responding so eagerly to the kiss? Was his suspicions correct when he told himself the last letter sounded like a declaration of love? This wasn't what he planned. He wanted to hurt Kurosaki, reject him, humiliate him, CASTRATE HIM WITH HIS BLADE.

The moan Kurosaki rewarded him with for good behavior is sweet.

His teenage hormones must be over-weighing his blood lust. Once this is over, so will Kurosaki.

But for now… He snaked his hands down the shorter boy's back and deepened the kiss intensely for good measure, milking the boy's sweet lips for everything they had. His knee wedged between the shorter teen's legs, making him clung onto him tighter.

Kizami's lids open a crack as he snog Kurosaki without much mercy. He studied Kurosaki's face; his eyes are squeezed shut tightly while he has the deepest blush Kizami has ever seen on Kurosaki's face. Kurosaki's body responded sensitively but eagerly to little touches Kizami made here and there. Maybe it would be a waste to kill him…

No. What is he saying? Since when has he been so attached to the bumbling idiot Kurosaki? they've only grew up together - those times weren't significant to Kizami. Kurosaki always left him to deal with his own issues. Losing Kurosaki shouldn't affect him much or at all. He had to do it NOW. Kizami sneaked to his knife and breaks away from the kiss after plunging the sharp blade into his ex-best friend's stomach.

"…W-Wait…? Huh…?"

Shock struck Kurosaki, almost numbing the excruciating pain.

"Goodbye."

With how Kurosaki's wobbly footing is Kizami easily kicked him off his feet and into the pit below. The taller teen closes his eyes as he heared Kurosaki scream his name then collide with the depths below, making a nasty sound of something breaking.

Kizami licked his lips. He can still taste a tart sweetness lingering.

* * *

The boy was hard to kill, Kizami admits. After he thought he had killed Kurosaki, something inside him felt oddly empty instead of the usual pungent feel of satisfactory that came to him after taking the few of his classmates' life. It left him with the need to kill again so he can fill that void. He chased Yuka down intent on killing her, when she went down to the first floor. There Kurosaki's body lied. He was alive, surprisingly. The shorter boy yelled at Yuka to run away and to forget about him, just run and not look back. Did he think he can hold him back with such injuries?

His will is strong. But wait, didn't he say in his letter that his will to live is powerful because of him? …Pretty contradicting when Kizami attempted to murder Kurosaki.

Yuka still insisted to take care of Kurosaki's injuries even when it would be impossible to treat in a place other than the hospital. A bitter taste sweep through Kizami's mouth, similar to the empty feeling he felt moments ago.

"Why don't you just drop dead?"

Kurosaki began to yell and scream at him about the things he should've done during their childhood and that he was sorry, coughing all the while.

Kizami's eyes glint with amusement. So Kurosaki has noticed the things he never did, haven't he? The boy was too much of a chicken to do anything he would have liked though.

He almost forgot that his dear little sister is still there and he knocks her out unconscious.

"Now I'm curious. So tell me, what are those things you should have done, Kurosaki?"

A fist collided into his face. Rage overtook the taller teen, pulling out his blade with full intent to gut the boy, this time for sure, he's dead.

Kurosaki scowled. "So all you feel is contempt towards me, huh?"

This stopped Kizami at his tracks. He was hovering over Kurosaki with his fist gripped tightly on the handle of the blade.

"Not everything in life is smiles and laughter…" Kurosaki spoke in tears up. He had the most bittersweet smile gracing his face. "…but even if it weren't mutual, you've made me happy. Even if your laughs and smiles were lies, mine weren't. You made me laugh and smile… Kizami…" Blood climbed up the boy's throat. "E-Even if you didn't mean to… Shit…I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you Kizami…"

He's hesitating. The knife becomes looser in his hand.

"As a friend…or something that could have been…"

More confessions? Why now? Kizami's expression waver.

"Kizami…?"

"…Here use this to stop the bleeding."

Kizami got down on his knees, wrapping his uniform blazer around his friend's wound. He sat Kurosaki up and brought him against a wall. Kizami stares into Kurosaki's glossy eyes and caresses the boy's cheek.

"…I want you to live a little while longer." He kissed Kurosaki's cheek then goes to Yuka and sat her up against the wall next to Kurosaki as well; she still seems to be unconscious.

Kurosaki held his gut, groaning softly in pain. "Kizami…"

"I'm sorry… If we make it out of here, I want you to live and be with me Kurosaki."

The shorter boy knit his brows. "Jerk… what makes you think that after this…I would forgive you?"

"Hugs and Kisses."

"Huh?"

"Those are what the x's and o's mean."

The boy laughed weakly, wincing all the while. "Idiot…so you did get those letters…"

Kizami nodded and rest his head on Kurosaki's chest. The bitterness is gone, a light feeling replacing it.

* * *

It's been a week since the events that happen inside Heavenly Host Elementary School. Kizami and Kurosaki appeased Sachiko with Yuka's friends and ended up at the same place the two friends did the Sachiko ever after charm with their classmates. Yuka and her friends were nowhere to be seen - maybe they returned to whatever place they did the charm at.

Kizami took Kurosaki to the hospital and he's been in there since.

Kizami didn't know how to tell his…interest that their classmates don't remember those who did the charm with them, like they never existed. He would be beyond depressed although Kizami never cared for those classmates of his, he doesn't want the only person that matter to go through more than he already had.

"Here!" Kurosaki grinned, stamping a sticky note directly on Kizami's forehead and flutter his eyelashes innocently. He knows full well Kizami wouldn't hurt him while he's laying sick in the hospital bed. Last time they got rowdy in the most compromising way, the nurse banned Kizami from the hospital for a few days.

Kizami calmly pulled the note off and read it.

_xoxox_  
_- Me~!_

The taller smirked. "Hm? You want some of that Kurosaki?" He rose from his chair and climbed on the bed.

"H-Hey don't let the nurse catch you!"

"Hmm~." Kizami purred against Kurosaki's neck.

Kizami will put off the cruel, cruel truth from Kurosaki for as long as he can. He wanted to make up for lost time after all.

* * *

note:  
YEAH. SO SWEETLY GROSS HUH?  
I was going to let Kurosaki die but he always die in my fics so I changed it up a notch.  
A bit of OOC going on... Good ending and all.

Edit: Revised the tenses.


End file.
